She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
