But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
