Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
