Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
