I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
