So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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