he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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