dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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