you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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