Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
