I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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