Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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