rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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