So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
