I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
