Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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