what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
