Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
