it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
