I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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