yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
