I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
