he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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