yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
