happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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