I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
