I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
