ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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