This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
