if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hippo gnu deer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
