I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize