Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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