How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
