we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
