You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
