we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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