I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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