I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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