woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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