I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize