YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
