Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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