I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
