After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
