wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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