Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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