She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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