that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
