Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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