I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
