Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
