Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
