I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
