It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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