Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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