There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
