I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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