Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
