Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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