We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
