i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
