Small penises have feelings too.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
