I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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