Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
