I wish I could punch you in the face.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
